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Waking Up

Posted on March 22 2015

Waking Up
Chronic pain.. mental illness.. domestic violence.. self harm.. I've been through all of it. I have chronic migraines. I live with ptsd from a very abusive 11 year relationship. I have bipolar. Depression. Social anxiety. I'm 2 months clean from cutting.
I've always felt like I was battling something, more often than not, myself. I've never felt like I belong anywhere or that I quite fit in. It used to bother me so much. Now that I'm a mom (I have 5 amazing kids) and I see what they go through (3 have mood disorders) it feels like I have opened my eyes for the first time. I don't want to be sick anymore.

I want to be able to smile and laugh, like I did before my life fell apart. I want my babies to look at me and know yeah, mom might be sick, but she fights with all she has to make each day the best. I have had some incredible help along my road and if I can do that for someone else.. show them that if they just open their eyes life doesn't have to be so awful.. then sharing my story is worth it. I've shared it on my fb page, in groups I'm part of. I no longer have shame for what was done to me or the chronic illness I didn't choose to have.

I want to become an advocate for all the things I mentioned above. I want to educate people and let those hurting know they're not alone. If my story helps even one person in the tiniest way, then it's all worth it 💖

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