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losing zechariah how brave i became

Posted on January 15 2016

losing zechariah how brave i became
Little did I know that I was pregnant with a child that would change my life I still to this day do not know how I became so brave it isn't myself that did it I remember being pregnant how it totally changed me this was my fourth pregnancy so I figured like all pregnancies I've had that this one was gonna b the same but oh it was so different u know u get pregnant u plan for everything like baby showers who's gonna b there at birth and u plan a first family trip u plan for all these things you dont plan to get pregnant then go to the Dr only to hear sad news like your baby has this or your baby has that and that's what happened to my husband and I we were sure excited he planned to put him in baseball all that but then one day on a visit we had to hear that we need a deeper ultrasound BC Dr noticed fluid on our baby's brain at first I was worried but then I was like ok no biggie its fine so next week or so I went to the ut physicians in Houston Texas they did my appointment then ultrasound which I was so nervous during the ultrasound I remember at first feeling nautios the sick then my heart starts racing so the lady starts then is done rather quickly she goes gets Dr and that's day my life changed I met with genescist and I was told my baby had holoprosencephaly they tried talking me into terminating my pregnancy but I refused then they did other test to c more thngs like something to do with chromosomes and all te test came back ok Zechariah was healthy for the most part I picked his name from the bible I knew it was a perfect stong bible name so anyways the next few months I carried on with my pregnancy feeling fine no complications at all feeling him hiccup feeling him kick him tossing and turning everything was perfect even the day I went into labor it was perfect I have no regrets my baby was perfect he came out crying 😢 then stopped breathing zechariahs nose didn't form correctly he had a pin hole all his airways were blocked his pituitary gland wasn't visible it was sad 😢 yet he fought for his life as said he couldn't feel oh he felt my touch he seen us my husband and I was with him 24/7 we hardly left his side he was loved and we felt his love ❤ he taught me to b brave I learned I was being prepared to b without him it was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure it was so heartbreaking

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