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In Memory Of William Robert Snoke 3/17/1999-10/29/2001
Posted on September 10 2014
Children's Hospital OU Medicine because the hospital we were at didn't specialize in the treating of Cushing’s syndrome adrenocortical carcinoma. They put an IV in my Son's hand and sent us right over. When we got there they were waiting for us. Immediately they took him to a private room and started hooking him up. He got a catheter, a nose tube and an IV. Upon arrival we were told William could not have anything to eat or drink for 24 hours. I told them he had not eaten since breakfast and it was already around 8pm that night. I listened even though my little boy cried from being thirsty and hungry. Come 11am on August 15th I had heard nothing. It had been at least 24 hours since my son last had anything to eat or drink. I was fed up. I went to a nurse and said when is my Son going to be able to eat or drink. She asked which room I was in. She got his chart and said I don't know why you were told he couldn't have anything to eat or drink. I said then get William some food and water to his room. While I was checking on his food and water William pulled out his catheter. My Son was not happy. At around 1:30 my son finally got food (They would not allow outside food or drinks for him otherwise I would have fed him when she said he could eat and drink). I did give him a bottle of water. He was really thirsty. That morning the doctors ordered more cat scans. The doctors didn't give me much comfort. I had no idea what was coming next. After the cat scans, They confirmed the diagnoses INTEGRIS Southwest Medical Center E.R. gave us. William had Cushing’s syndrome due to an adrenocortical carcinoma. William had tumors by his left kidney and some on his lymph nodes. The doctors wanted to operate. They gave me the odds of my Son making it through surgery but those were odds we had to take. The doctors said we will try to remove all of the tumor but there are no guarantees. 8 Days after my Son was admitted he was scheduled for surgery. August 22nd 2001, The doctors gave me a few minutes with my son before surgery. I told William how much I loved him. I sang his favorite song You are My Sunshine. Now it was time for surgery. The 4 1/2 hour wait felt like an eternity to me. I heard nothing until after the surgery. A doctor came out and said William is in recovery. William is groggy from anesthesia. William is asking for his Tigger doll. My brave little guy made it through surgery. The doctors got a big chunk of the tumor out and will examine it in pathology. That night William was fed up with being in the hospital. He was an aggravated & tired 2 year old. He pulled out his nose tube from surgery while waiting for doctors to remove it. We didn't receive a consult from the doctors until August 25th 2001. The doctors didn't know much more but would wait for results from the pathology report. The doctors said William would be released in a few days if he was responding to the meds he was given. William's central line was only cleaned once in the 7 days after his surgery. One of William's nurses could not believe it had been that long before it was cleaned. August 29th 2001. Release day from the hospital. Everything was done all we were waiting on was the doctor to remove the central line. The doctor came in and asked me to remove William's food tray. I grabbed his tray from the bed turned around to set it down. William reached out for me and as I was across the room William fell out of the bed and ripped out the central line to his heart. The doctor just stood there and let him fall out of the bed. I was furious. The doctor called for an immediate cat scan before we could take William home. In the time my son was admitted to the hospital he was starved, he was dehydrated, A nurse let his IV bag run out and blood was going into the IV tube (Even though my Mom had told several nurses that William's IV was running low and when it ran out). He pulled out his own nose tube, catheter and ripped out the central line to his heart. My Son William went through hell and back because of Cushing’s syndrome adrenocortical carcinoma. October 14th 2001 Finally results were back from Pathology. I was not prepared for what the doctor was going to tell me. It was a beautiful 70 degrees in Oklahoma. William was really happy, all smiles that afternoon as we went in to see the doctor at 11:15am. William was in a wheelchair due to the disease he was too big to carry as I was about 4 months pregnant with William's little sister Hailey. The doctor gave William some toys to play with as we sat down. The doctor said this disease only effects people in ages 20-50 years old. This disease/cancer is rare. The doctor had only seen 3 cases like William's and those patients did not make it. The doctor said we will do everything we can for your son but with as progressed as this disease/cancer is your son only has 6 months-1 year to live. William is looking up at me smiling the biggest smile I had seen in months and this doctor just told me he is going to die and William has no idea. I started to cry. The doctor said don't cry. Excuse me you just told me my Son is dying. I couldn't help myself or hold it in. I was sad for William because here he is smiling, happy, laughing and he has no clue that in 6 months to a year he will gone. It was devastating. The doctor said he might make it to see a year if you do radiation and chemo. I asked if he thought it could save his life. He said no. The disease/cancer was too far gone. I told him I would think about it and give him a call. I took William home. That night I told my Family that William wasn't going to make it. We kept giving William all the meds he was prescribed. We were trying to decide if radiation and chemo were the right way to go... October 29th 2001, William was at my Mom's house. I was at my Brothers. I got a call from my Mom's neighbor. The neighbor said my Mom asked her to call me. My Mom was on her way to the hospital because an ambulance has taken William to Children's Hospital OU Medicine. I called my Brother who was at work. He got to the house lightning quick. My brother drove as fast as he could. I was sitting in the passenger seat. I looked up at the sky which was so blue and bright. I looked at my Brother and said, He is gone. My brother said who? William? He said Sis you can't think like that. I said I am sorry but I just feel like this is it. My Brother told me to stay positive but somehow I just knew. To this day I don't know how I knew but it was a feeling. We ran into the hospital. When we came in there was my Son on a hospital bed, a nurse was giving him CPR. The staff saw we had come in. They hurried us into a family room. I was told your Son William Snoke is not breathing. He has been down since we picked him up. That was about 24 minutes ago. The counselor said you have 2 options. If he takes a breath he will be a vegetable the rest of his life or you can let him go now and end his suffering. How do you decide your whole child's life in a split second? I looked at my Brother and said I don't know what to do. He said Sis this is your decision. I sat there for a minute then I told them to stop. I got to go into the room with my Son to say goodbye. The doctors helped me pick him up so I could hold him one last time. I sang You Are My Sunshine. I told him how much I loved and would miss him. I walked into that hospital knowing my Son was there but walking out for the last time without him was unbearable. That was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. I pray no one ever has to suffer the way my Son William suffered. I dedicated his story to him and to others that know the pain of having to say goodbye to their child. Not goodbye. See ya later.