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In his honor

Posted on January 17 2015

In his honor
May 20th, 1999 at 8:36 pm I gave birth to an adorable baby boy. His name was Nathan Michael and I loved him from the moment I saw him. He was a healthy baby, did everything the way he was supposed to. And he grew into a handsome teenage boy. Nathans favorite thing to do was to give hugs. It was his way of shaking your hand to say hello. He had a smile that would light up a room. He was a natural comedian, always trying to get people to laugh by telling jokes or making faces and talking in funny accents.He was a total ham and loved to have his picture taken. He also loved playing and watching baseball-he went to quite a few Phillies and Iron Pigs games, as well as learning to play different card games and he had just gotten a keyboard for Christmas and was looking forward to learning how to play.
Nathans life wasn't always smiles and jokes- he struggled with his behavior and his mental state of mind. He had a hard time choosing between what was right and wrong. He tried hard to do the right thing, but had such difficulties making those good choices. I had tried many different types of therapy, medications, in patient hospitalizations, psychologists…you name it and I tried it with him. My lifetime goal was to help Nathan grow up to be the best person he could be.
In addition to these struggles Nathan was also diagnosed with Epilepsy. He had grand mal tonic clonic seizures. He was required to take medication on a daily basis to try to stop him from having them. While the medication worked for the most part he still suffered an occasional seizure from time to time and almost always at night while he was sleeping.
Nathan had goals; he was very creative and loved to draw and belonged to the school art club. What he wanted to be when he grew up changed all the time- it went from being a baseball player, to a comedian, to a tattoo artist. I always told him that if he worked hard he could do anything he wanted to.
Nathan had just recently come home from a three week in patient hospital stay on Christmas Eve, that night we celebrated the Feast of the Seven Fishes with my family, opened presents and had a great time. The next day was Christmas, he was so excited to get the one thing he really truly wanted and that was his keyboard. We spent the day together with family and had our traditional Christmas meal. That night we came home, I hugged Nathan goodnight and told him that I loved him and we went to sleep. Little did I know that it was going to be the last time I would hug him and see his smiling face. The next morning I went to wake him up and realized that he had passed away in his sleep. The cause of his death was a seizure, his report states SUDEP which is Sudden Unexpected Death is Seizures.
The loss of a child is not something that any parent should have to experience. I feel as though a piece of me has died with him. It was completely unexpected and shocked us all.
Since Nathan passed away 2 years ago, I have been doing everything I possibly can to raise Epilepsy and SUDEP awareness. I have had multiple fundraisers and events where I have donated money.


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