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I AM Enough
Posted on July 14 2014
July 16th was a turning point of blur,
I was presenting my problem, yet not quite sure.
I had committed myself to a friend I held dear,
Even though he filled me with doubt and great fear.
I turned to a scale to define who I was,
And forgot that self worth was more than just because.
From the outside I showed the world I was fine,
Only to hold inside the hatred of mine.
My reflection of beauty was measured in pounds,
Yet even at my lowest perfection was not found.
Running was something that allowed me to be free,
At least that’s what I thought, it made sense to me.
I was running from my troubles and not willing to fight,
I was heading in the direction I knew was not right.
I was given two choices and neither did I approve,
I had no time to waste, my life needed to move.
Kaitlyn was blinded by the condition she was in,
And that little voice inside was determined to win.
At this point and time my life had no meaning,
So I signed over control, for freedom I had been feening.
Behaviors and bad habits developed in time,
My favorite line to respond with was “I’m doing just fine.”
The challenges began that very next day,
And I questioned myself am I turning the right way?
To be so scared of something our bodies need,
Finally opened my families’ eyes to the rules of Ed’s creed.
It was more than just eating or the fear of the food,
It deterred my cognition and altered my mood.
The repairing was not easy and welcomed a new task,
I began to shed many tears hiding under the hidden mask.
When taste of new life became apparent to me,
I prayed long and hard “God please set me free.”
My mom held my hand and leaded the way,
Not one day did pass where she needed to stray.
With a group of support and a family full of love,
I knew it wasn’t my time to be watching from above.
I was tough and determined with a mind ready to fight,
I had a purpose to live and a goal in sight.
Changing my thoughts was the start of it all,
And that’s when the bad days began to stall.
My smile became real and not just a grin,
I was blessed in this journey with a new brother named Fin.
I have gained a relationship back with my sister,
I only wish I could revisit those years that I had missed her.
Many lessons have been learned all taught through trying,
I no longer have to hold back from laughter nor crying.
I have found inner peace with myself and the scale,
Standing proud at a number my body shall not fail.
Each achievement and struggle may have been rough,
But it taught me what I was lacking, I am confidently enough.