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directions for a worthy life, by deb
Posted on September 03 2015
Well,to start off, I am no superhero. I am a 53 year old woman who until last December,was cruising through life without any big worries-that is, until an episode of lower back pain turned into a diagnosis of stage 2B ovarian cancer. CANCER, who me?????Cancer can't happen to me. I am a Nurse; I know the symptoms of cancer....or did I? All along I figured it was menopause that had me gaining a few pounds and having irregular periods. Cancer is something that starts with progressive coughing, sore throats, changing moles, etc., not vague abdominal bloating. Well, so much for my knowledge base. In a matter of days, I found myself in the throws of major surgery,( the mass was larger than 7 inches!)then facing complications such as dvt and pulmonary embolism. That will teach me for smoking earlier, huh? After 10 days in the hospital, I was discharged home to begin the healing process, or so I thought. Several Dr. appts later, I was ready to start my first round of chemotherapy. What can you say about chemo-other than it SUCKS,...bad. I imagine chemo is different for everyone, but in my opinion, it is a specific therapy designed to take you as close to death as humanly possible. I actually felt disconnected from my body-like I was watching from some distance. Thank god for good people, good family, and good pain meds. I continued with the chemo for 4 months, at which time my body decided "I have had enough". I became very ill and ended up in the hospital again. After enduring 5 treatments, my body could no longer fight off any infection or stress that was present. In my weakened state, I decided to call it quits- without receiving anymore chemo treatments. Even now, I feel this was the right decision for me. Currently, I spend my days trying to regain lost strength and energy. I am still unable to work due to neuropathy that developed from the chemo.I try to walk small distances, I try to cook and do light housekeeping The most important word I can stress to others is "TRY". Sometimes that is all we can do. Remember, we are not superheroes, and cannot leap tall buildings- but we can look deep into our lives' and decide that we will TRY....to live the very best we can