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A Little Off Center - Virginia's Story
Posted on May 04 2015
As I grew older so did my imagination and the many parts of my personality. It became fun to take everything to an extreme and lead as many lives as possible. I was able to hide my mind’s volume behind good grades, nice boyfriends and good behavior. When I graduated from college I entered a field of 70 hour work weeks, leaving so late you had to sleep in your car, mania, and outlandish imagination. I was in heaven and no matter where my career took me it was always the same.
As I got older, it became harder to keep up. I found myself taking leave of absences and then a hospitalizations for rest. This was completely accepted as long as I continued to be creative, activated, and could continue to produce quickly. I hid in that world for 20 years but a slow motion crash in 2005 changed my life forever. It started with a trip to the emergency room, traveled through suicide attempts, forgetting who I was, living with 5 Alters and running away from my home until I finally heard the diagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder with Disassociation.
For 8 years, I struggled between dark and light. When I was in the light I worked hard to get the life I once knew because it was where I knew joy and extremes. But it was not meant to be. I was mad, bitter, confused, and was often shunned by the world who created me.
Then November 13, 2013. This was my day of my Moment of Recovery. I took a big breath, walked out my front door, and interviewed for a job. I probably talked too much, fidgeted in my chair or hell might have talked through one of my Alters, but they decided to take a chance on me. My sun came out that day and I entered my second act.
My life really has not changed all that much. There are still characters in my head, I am still a bit off center and my imagination... well I actually have awards for it. I always laugh that they have the wrong name on the plaque.
If you ask me what makes up me I will tell you that I am a fierce fighter, I thrive in passion, I seek human genius, I am a status quo shooter and I see brilliance all around me. This is was my childhood lens but now the meaning is a little different.